I CAN MOONWALK!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
