school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
