oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
