fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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