Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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