we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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