We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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