Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
