I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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