Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
