dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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