I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
