We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
