i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
