life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
