Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
