I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
