i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
