so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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