Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
