this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
