if you like me you must not know who I am
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
