worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
