I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
