She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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