as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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