some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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