but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
