If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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