Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
