I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
