Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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