i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
