the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
