i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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