I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
