Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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