I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
