DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
