How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
