drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
