its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
