yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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