i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
