ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
