If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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