so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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