What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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