I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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