She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
