here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
